Quotes and Poems 1

I believe it worse to be a hypocrite than a simpleton easily swayed.

2/12/14

*courtesy of my sister
Sweet potatoes are not yams, I don't know why, but they're not.
2/15/14

*courtesy of my sister

"Artists are pissy all the time because they have their moments of inspiration at night and then they have to stay up all day."

2/23/14

Let me see the light again;

let me breath the air.

Let me see the sun again,

but I'm afraid they're all there.

I guess it is my fault then,

that I have but cannot touch.

To see the world so clear

yet continue to sit in musk.

2/24/14

Why is it that I bother, 

to hold myself so high?

When the whole world is a bowing,

a withering,

a sigh.

Why is it I'm burdened, 

with unrelenting pride. 

A pride that keeps my flying,

but not to a higher high.

Instead I am flying,

but to a darker hell.

The hell of will and wisdom;

the hell of a solitary mind;

I will not- cannot- live a lie. 

so a lonely life for me.

Perhaps a sad and selfish one,

but at least I live as I.

2/25/14

Spring!

Happy Spring!

The Cherry Tree blossoms are from outside my house. I thought I'd share them cause they are pretty. It's hard to believe time has flew so fast that we're already out of winter and into spring.

I know the pictures aren't the best, but at least they're nice enough for one to enjoy the flowers!

I know that the following aren't Cherry Blossoms (they're wisteria buds) but I thought they looked pretty cool and worthy of picturing. I think the first one looks like a knight with his helmet armor on and his feathers on the back (the leaves). 

A knight of King Arthur!

I like how this is a dainty mixture of the past year and the new (the old dried leaf from last year with the fresh bud of this year's spring).

Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly: A Review *Spoilers

BROOKLYN: Andi Alpers is on the edge. She’s angry at her father for leaving, angry at her mother for not being able to cope, and heartbroken by the loss of her younger brother, Truman. Rage and grief are destroying her. And she’s about to be expelled from Brooklyn Heights’ most prestigious private school when her father intervenes. Now Andi must accompany him to Paris for winter break. 
PARIS: Alexandrine Paradis lived over two centuries ago. She dreamed of making her mark on the Paris stage, but a fateful encounter with a doomed prince of France cast her in a tragic role she didn’t want—and couldn't escape.
Two girls, two centuries apart. One never knowing the other. But when Andi finds Alexandrine’s diary, she recognizes something in her words and is moved to the point of obsession. There’s comfort and distraction for Andi in the journal’s antique pages—until, on a midnight journey through the catacombs of Paris, Alexandrine’s words transcend paper and time, and the past becomes suddenly, terrifyingly present.

Beautiful. If I had more words to describe this book it would be: Beautiful. If I had more, I'd say: raw, gorgeous, touching, heart-wrenching. This book was a journey in itself to read. I felt each chapter could have been taken and turned into its own little short story and stand alone perfectly fine. This book left me breathless at the end of every chapter. I literally would stop and pause to reflect at the glory of the words in the previous chapter before moving on. The ideas, feelings, and thoughts expressed in Revolution are highly connectable. I feel everyone could identify with at least some idea in this novel

I am so ashamed that I did not read this earlier. How many times have I walked past this book and not realized what I treasure I had been missing out on. It was only because I passed by a copy of Revolution with a different cover did I pick it up to read this time round at the library. I had blankly no idea it was the same book I had walked past on the shelf for the past three years of my life. The shame of truly judging a book by its cover. *sigh I thought I was better than this.

This book harbored a simple uniqueness to it that I found highly appealing and interesting. The set/ presentation of the story simply flowed together. There was no rush for the plot to occur, it just magically laid itself out. Going through the book, I felt no forced plot line just a natural coherence and blending of all the ideas presented. The book was also set in three parts. It paralleled Dante's work the Divine Comedy as its sections were named: Hell, Purgatory, and Paradise. These three sections, clearly reflect the goings in the novel as the main character Andi goes from lost to found.

The main character Andi is a smart and real character. I was very glad she along with the rest of the book's cast was not dumbed down to the usual Young Adult, romance, genre. Just because I would like to read a book of the YA romance type, does not mean I seek brainless chick lit. I appreciate the success and appeal of a well developed cast of characters in a novel. Each character of Revolution could have been pulled out and written into their own separate story. I felt Andi's interaction with each of them was merely, her touching each of their lives while they move forward in their own separate tales.

I am a history fanatic and the amount of accurate history and facts in Revolution was astounding. It made me very satisfied. Sometimes novels screw up historical fact, and other factual information  (unintentionally of course) which instantly irritates me. I like my history accurate and my facts clean. I think the accuracy in the research of an author reflects how much heart and effort she or he has put it. I feel writing a book is like raising a child. If you truly want the child to succeed you would make all best attempts to give the child the best possible foundation to set off in the right direction. This reflects to one's dedication in achieving the most accurate factual base for a historical fiction to build off of.

Also, the story of Alex's entwined fate with Louis Charles was killer. I could almost say her story was the most beautiful part of the book. The grace, passion, honor, and dignity shown in her character rings the word revolution. Alex was a character representation of what revolution is. I could cry every time I read the words Jennifer Donnelly placed into her mouth.

I also really appreciated the fact that Donnelly did not condemn the royal family: Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette, and their two children. She represented them as earthly people, who made human mistakes. It was simply fate and life that led to their destiny. They were not villains, just innocents blinded by luxury. And the poor, poor dauphin Louis Charles! A little boy whose heart lives on in a jar. *sigh, I tell you, history is but a big book of romanced tragedy.

The best part, however, of this book was defiantly it's beautiful flow of words. It could be easily called not a novel but a collection of many glorious quotes. These quotes reflected humor, life, truth, melancholy,etc. and are all heartrendingly beautiful. Reading this book, I  wished that I owned it instead of it being a library copy because I desperately wanted to highlight and annotate this book. I ended up pulling all my favorite quotes and placing them on a separate post as there were so many. I highly encourage anyone to go check it out. The word's tragic honesty will rip your heart out. click here

Revolution conveyed a perfect story. It told so many stories apart from Andi's journey and touched upon many issues that could easily be reflected into the lives of a growing teenager. I would consider this book a painting crammed with the essence of the writer: of the world. I highly recommend this read. It's not heavy, like a classic novel, yet it harbors depth in meaning and beauty in literature.

The Coincidence of a Cookie?

I am not a particularity superstitious person. However, I am one that at times do believe that your previous actions can influence later coincidences in life. 

Lately, due to exhaustion to the point of deliriousness from English and also the glory of Roman history, it has occurred to me that I would make a great tyrant. (This of course is a joke.) My friend remarked upon my self righteous comment and stated if I ever became a tyrant then Canada would suffer over population. :) Apparently, I'd be horrid. 

Anyways, so the conversation passed, however, a few days later I received a fortune cookie. Upon opening it, I find my fortune to be this: 

I don't particularly know now to respond to this somehow magical moment of fate. Is the heavens really mocking me, with my friends? I have no response to this, but I will definitely be keeping this fortune. It is so harsh and matches the definition of the makings of a tyrant perfectly. What is fate! The tragic humor of this scenario is just not okay. The coincidence is just too perfect. :)

Geese and Snow!

So while we, Californians, bask in the glorious, sunny new days of Spring, Virginia is still highly snow covered. It looks so pretty there doesn't it? There pictures were taken by my dad at a pond near his house at Virginia. Man, I wish I was there. The snow just looks so clean. 

So many Geese!

More Geese near the pond!

You'd think that the lake would be frozen in such cold weather but apparently not.

The cloudy, snowy days California simply does not have. *sigh

Additional Chapter to Cannery Row by John Steinbeck

Hello! Well this is an English assignment that I had last year in my freshman English class that I happened to find in my mass of docs. I really liked this so I edited it up and here it is. It is supposed to be an added chapter of one's own fictional accord that could be assimilated with the many, sometimes random stories of Cannery Row by John Steinbeck. I know the grammars not perfect but I liked it when I wrote it last January so I hope you enjoy it to. 

Cannery Row Short Chapter

Sue Jerkins loved romances, she loved love, she loved men. She thrived on the thrill of being loved and loving another. Sue loved Dan Woodsman: a terrible drunk with antics and speeches that often left him finding a bruise on his face or a black eye in the morning. His temper frequently ran high and harbored a mean streak that was embedded deep in his bones.

           

 Sue believed she could change him. It seemed fitting to her that a woman could change a man once they were deeply in love and lovers. The only fault in her thoughts was that Dan wasn't in love with her. Dan couldn't love anything. He only kept Sue around cause she was cheaper than any girl at Dora's and prettier too. Why not take the fish that's already on the hook?

         

Last night Dan had come home with a temper flying high, raging in his head. Sue greeted him with loving white arms and a brave smile on her face knowing what was to come.  "Damn that Alfie. What he doin' interrupting a man and his drink on a Friday night? He has no damn right."

           

Sue wrapped her arms  around his shoulders and pulled him down to sit upon the bed. She let a shadow of sensitivity lie on her face, like the shadow of the moon  on a starless night, and she just listened. Dan's rambling ran on. Nothing was his fault. The world was to blame and he, blameless. God damn everyone. The minutes ticked on and Dan's rambling slowly ran out of steam.  There was no longer enough anger and steam to keep his train of anger going.  It was then that Sue pulled him closer and they both succumbed to the night.          

Early next morning, Dan left the bed with a grunt, dressed, and the house shook with his leaving. Sue just lay in bed staring at the ceiling. It wasn't as if Sue didn't know he wasn't treatin' her right. She knew, but just couldn't bring herself to leave him. If she did she would have no romance, no love,  and most importantly, no man. Being alone scared her and alone was how Dan found her. Now that she has got a man she was not lettin' him go. She believed and had faith in her heart that she could change him, and she was not one to give up. 

Rainy Days: An Reflection and After Thought

California has finally been receiving glorious amounts of rain and I'm loving it. Rainy days are my favorites. They're never too cold, and that fresh smell of the air when the rain finally stops is very nice. It is a good time to think and enjoy the momentary freshness of the world from the usual drudgery as life moves forward.

Reflecting the idea of rain fall to life, I've come up with this parallel. Say there is a hypothetical situation where one person is walking leisurely through the rain while the other is running. Also in this situation, the goal is to move forward.

When one walks through the rain slowly and with an umbrella, the walk is pleasant and calming. The slowness of the pace allows one to enjoy the smells, the sights, and their surroundings without getting very wet at all. Contrarily, when one runs through the rain as fast as one possibly can, he will most likely get very wet. The speed required for racing through the rain will probably cause one to loose one's umbrella, slip/fall a couple of times, and get very wet from exposing himself to larger amounts of rain contact.

Similarly to the course of life, if one was to take life slowly and "walk leisurely through the rain", he'd probably be able to greater enjoy the details of life. He would harbor a smaller scope of ambition and most likely, the life he'd lead would be relatively normal, and stable.

If one was to pursue and feed his innate sense of ambition, figuratively "running through the rain as fast as they can", his course of life would obviously be of a different nature. The fine details of life would be missed and the easy days traded in for days of reckless ambition of achieving. Yes, one would also suffer much more falls from his slippery footholds on the rain slicked cement and a greater battering of the rain on his shoulders.

I personally have not found which course of life it is that I am leading. I find a certain appeal in either of these extremed options; However, if I were to decide a way that I am running towards, in my own course of life, I would say my attraction would be greater to the "running through the rain" path. Of course, that would be because of my attraction to the idea of finding that one moment of pure self contentedness in having finally achieving my designated moment of greatness.

As a high schooler that is is rapidly approaching the most defining year of my high school career: Junior Year, I feel that I have to decide how it is that I want to run my life: To take it slow or to run and to push. I simply want to be able to self decide whether if this seemingly harbored ambition that I carry academically is really reflected in me or is really a self-created ruse I made to fool myself into joining the expanded picture of entering the best college possible that seems to be lived my most of my peers. I don't want my high school ambition to have been faked and never realize it. I desire to harbor a real sense of ambition, that my efforts are being honed to a goal that I do have the genuine faith in. If not, I'd rather discover the true life path I seek is to simply "walk in the rain". At least then I wouldn't waste efforts and live detailed oriented and happy.

Of course the two options I'm choosing from are extremes. If I was to truly find an ideal walk/run through the rain, it would be along the lines of the famed quote "don't forget to stop and smell the flowers". The "flowers" could be either of the two extremes that I have put as a minority. As long as either extreme is sharpened to point at a specific and acknowledged end, I believe both are good choices/ paths to go down.

I doubt this speel made a lot of sense; It is a rant after all. Hopefully it stimulated at least a little brain work. Anyways, Californians of the Bay Area, enjoy the rainy weather while it lasts. We're going to be headed to sunshine days again real soon.

DIY Card Wall!

Recently, I redid my wall decor and moved my wall of cards into a different corner of my room. I also placed it in a different format so the cards are no longer taped to my walls on the back. I've updated to hanging them and I really like the result. It is really easy create and doesn't take very long if you have all the materials on hand and prepped to go. I took maybe around 30 minutes to an hour? So here is the process to make your own card wall to display all those lovely birthday/Christmas/etc, cards you've received. They don't deserve to live in boxes. 

Materials: 

-1 roll ScotchBlue 1.88 in. x 60 yds. Multi-Surface Painter's Masking Tape 

(any other tape will do but I prefer this one was it doesn't leave residue most of the time, peels off easy, and keeps your stuff staying up.)

-Some twine or any other type of sturdy string that is light weight

- Cards from your personal collection

- Christmas bows/confetti bows or origami twisty roses for cleaning up the edges (any flat bottomed thing will do

Step 1: Choose a wall and decide how long you want your string to run across and how many levels you want to do

Step 2: Cut your string to the length of your choice and begin taping them horizontally at the edges. I eye-balled this so my lines aren't particularly straight or even but it doesn't show once you start putting your cards on. Be neat with your taping, making sure to make the string rather taunt. The neater the taping the more stable and sturdy it becomes and the less likely to collapse on you which is not fun. Also make sure you leave a little stub of excess twine at the end. The line will begin dropping a little once you begin putting your cards on so this provides it a little leeway before you move on to secure it more securely. ( Look to the right for finished result)

Step 3: Once your line is all set up begin hanging your cards on it. I placed the heavier ones on the side and the lighter ones in the middle for security. I'm sure physics has something to do with it but I won't go into details. 

Further Advice: For the particularly heavy cards like the one on mine in the top right corner. I made some tape bubbles ( a piece of tape rolled on to itself to form a circle) and placed it on the back of the card and pressed it onto the wall for extra security. That way the card can kind of hold its own weight against the wall.

I also used clothespins. However, though it looks good, Clothespins add weight so I also placed small tape bubbles behind them too so they can stay up by themselves instead of depending on the strength of the line.

I added these tape bubbles to various cards to help lighten the stress on my lines, increasing security

origami twisty roses

Step 4: As you can see, at this stage, your edges are still rather ugly looking as they are rough edges of blue tape. Here, you take your confetti bows/Christmas bows, origami flowers, or whatever you decided you wanted to use to cover your taped edges and begin attaching them to the end of the lines. This will successfully cover up the blue tape and make your card wall look better put together. 

Step 5: Admire your wall and you're done. 

If you were really careful, neat, and detailed oriented in securing everything securely then your lines will have a very slim chance of collapsing. This is not a guarantee. It could collapse from lack of tape/bad taping, bad quality tape, or just the fact that the world hates you and karma does not want your wall to stay up. As of this point, my wall has been really sturdy and hasn't collapsed on me. 

This is a really easy and simple project that can be modified to your hearts desire. With easily found supplies, it's a great one to do on a rainy day.

Disney Peas: The best possible present ever

This is a really late post that should have gone up in December but it didn't. *cringe Really late here. Anyways for Christmas last year (2013) my little sister got me this awesome pea pod with peas inside. It is absolutely adorable! They zip open and close to reveal the three smiling peas inside.                                                                             

Apparently, these peas were from Disney and I was really surprised. I had never seen these peas anywhere in any of the Disney movies so I assumed it was from one of Disney's kid shoes. Turns out it was from Toy Story 3. Well no wonder I had no clue, I couldn't bring myself to watch that one and I probably never will.  I simply can't accept the ending. I prefer to keep Toy Story at Toy Story 1: an open ending filled with various possibilities of futures. That closed door with Andy in Toy Story 3 is too melancholy for me to enjoy. I'd rather not expose myself to something I know I'll mentally torment myself with. 

Disney Logo

 This lovely pea pod features the official Disney logo on the back to prove its genuineness as most Disney products do. Disney sells three sizes of these pea pods a really small key chain version, an 8in version, and a 19in. version (mine). I personally believe that mine, the 19in. version, is the best size. Its big enough to be hugged, used as a pillow, and if you take the peas out, the peas are the perfect size to juggle, throw around/at your siblings, sneak attack people without hurting them, etc.

Happy stacked peas!

I'm sure the key chain one would be absolutely adorable to hang off of a key chain ( the comments will just come flooding in) and the 8in. one would be great too. However, if you want something that is more play-with-able I'd go with the 19in.

The material of the pea pod and the peas is really velvety and soft. It perfectly suitable for a toddler ( I think that's the targeted age group...) but I'm sure people of all ages will love this. The Peas are also pretty light and squishy. They don't have any heavy pellets in them and the pea pod just zips right off. *Pretty Dang Cool

Apparently they have names too! Names in order from left to right:
Peanelope, Peatrice, Peaty

I believe these are for sale at the Disney Store or their online website. I definitely recommend these for anyone who wants to stun a friend/family member with a unique present or if you just happen to want peas for yourself. Couldn't you imagine you're friend asking, "So what did you get me?" and you'd be all like "a pea pod." They'd never believe you and it would be the truth! :)

Links for purchase:
Key chain pea pod
8in. Pea Pod
19in. Pea Pod

*This picture belong's to Disney. I'm using it to show a comparison between the product and the movie depiction. 

Vivaldi: An Alive Present that Actually Stayed Alive

My birthday passed in December and my lovely, dear friend got me this really pretty glass vase that had a flower bulb in it.

I am not a plant person so though my initial reaction was "Oh my gosh! This is so cool!" I immediately thought right after "Please let me not kill it. I know I have no green thumb."

This little plant of mine then proceeded to become my pet. I'm no good with live animal pets so I've been making do keeping a pet rock. I thought this was a great update. I named it Vivaldi ( I do have a love for names of old, dead composers).

Vivaldi grew really fast. I'm not a gardener so I'm not sure if that's normal but this was an indoor bulb plant in a jar so maybe it was designed that way. It was really cool to see him visibly grow a little every day. If any one has kids that wants a pet I'd say just get them a bulb. It not only teaches them science of the growth of a plant but lets them demonstrate basic responsibility of making sure the bulb has a constant water level. If a kid can't keep a bulb alive, he certainly isn't ready for a dog. If the kid keeps the bulb alive, you can move him onto a goldfish or something. Whatever that floats your boat.

In conclusion I have decided that plants make great pets and this is one of the best birthday presents I've gotten yet. Not only was it an alive present, it was an alive present that didn't make sounds, bother me, and I could rant to it and it would never complain. Vivaldi even seems to enjoy opera. He doesn't run away and plug its ears like my sister (not that he can but still).
This present has made me realize that, no, I don't want to be a cat lady when I grow old. I'd much rather me a bulb lady and surround myself with glass vases filled with bulbs. They're easy to take care of and they don't make a fuss. All I have to do is add water.

Maybe I'll let bulbs replace my idea of having kids. One can't simply water a kid to make it grow.

*sigh

Anyways, all of this is in good fun. No, I am not going to allow myself to become a full blown bulb lady no matter how appealing that future might seem. I have ambitions and I plan on keeping them.

Still, bulbs actually do make great presents. I have no green thumb and Vivaldi's still alive so I'm highly impressed. I don't really know how bulbs work but I hope Vivaldi blossoms more than once. He can't just die on me this fast. It's only been around one month. Maybe I'll take up bulb planting. If I can keep one alive I can certainly keep  more alive, maybe.... :)

Glorious Quotes from Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly

This is a collection of my absolute favorite quotes from Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly. All the quoted texts belong to her and I am just sharing them. This book was absolutely spectacular. I know this is a lot of quotes but this is only a tiny sample of the glory of this book. I say definitely go buy it/check it out at your local library and read it now. I'll follow with a review soon.

*Regarding the selection of college applicants
"It's Vijay Gupta. president of the Honor Society, the debate team, the Chess Club, and the Model United Nations. volunteer at a soup kitchen, a literacy center, and the ASPCA. Davidson Fellow Presidential Scholar candidate, winner of the Princeton University poetry prize, but, alas, not a cancer survivor.
Orla McBride is a cancer survivor, and she wrote about it for her college apps and got into Harvard early admission. Chemo and hair loss, and throwing up pieces of your stomach beat the usually extracurriculars hands down. Vijay only got wait-listed, so he still has to go to class."

*The conversation this is from is about learning mythology, traditions, and religions at school.
" What the hell for?"
"Because they want you to know. It's important to them that you know."
"That it's a myth."
"What's a myth?"
"All of it, Jimmy. Everything."
"Jimmy goes quiet for a bit; then he says, "So you get out of that fancy school and you got nothin'? Nothin' to hold on to? Nothin' to believe in?"

*Regarding dreams/wishes
"He didn't have to tell me what he was wishing for. I knew. I also knew it would never come true. Genius isn't a team sport."

*Regarding brand-name items and Italian
"She's got a big belt around her hips. It has a shiny buckle with PRADA on it, which is Italian for insecure."

*Demonstration of how she is a smart protagonist. She knows her stuff.
"Someone offers me a glass of wine, but I decline. Alcohol doesn't mix well with my pills. It brings on some nasty side effect."

*A good quote for the loss of a loved one. The gold is in the last line.
"Then he says, "Damn it, Andi, Truman's dead.""
"I'm aware of that."
"So let him go."
"Just like you've done right? New life. No strife."
""Truman died. Truman. Not you," he says."

*Regarding history
"Most of the mess that is called history comes about because kings and presidents cannot be satisfied with a nice chicken and a good loaf of bread. How much better it would be for all of us it they could."

*Regarding a passion or music
"I'm wishing he could see that music lives. Forever. That it's stronger than death. Stronger than time. And that its strength holds you together when nothing else can."

*This quote appealed to me with its simple tragedy.
"Where are the puppets?," my mother asked.
"We were giving a show, my father told her, about the revolution in America. We were set upon by the guard. They called the show seditious. They trampled the puppets, toppled the theater, and set fire to all."

*Perseverance in human nature
"He was a playwright once, my father, and the rest of us his players. his plays were tragic and sad, like the man himself but the theaters refused them, for they spoke of liberty and the end of kings. because he could not stage his plays in theaters, he staged them in the streets, and three times the censors arrested him. The third time, they banned him from performing every again. So he made puppets and had them say the words he could not."

*Regarding the King/powerful pol. figures
"And yet it is hard even now for me to hate him, for I believe he meant no harm. You would not beat your dog because he is not a cat. He was born a dog and cannot change it. The king was born a king and could not change that either."

*Regarding Revolution
"Yes, Theo, it is, he said. It's the beginning of the end."

*The beauty of devotion and the beauty of the words. This line is of Alexandrine declaring the only thing she can do of her devotion to Louis Charles, the locked away 8 year old son of Marie Antoinette and Louis the XVI. Maybe it is the fact that I am exhausted whenever I read this line so I'm more emotional, but I always tear up from the melancholy and sadness of this scene: Giving hope to a hopeless.
"There are no songs left for me to play to sing to you, Louis Charles, I said. No games to play. But I can give you this-the light.
I will rain down silver and gold for you. I will shatter the black night, break it open, and pour out a million stars. Turn away from the darkness, the madness, the pain.
Open your eyes. And not that I am here. That I remember and hope.
Open your eyes and look at the light."

*Regarding how a revolution happens
"Kings have little to do with revolutions. Revolutions are not in their best interests. It began with small things happening to Small people.....[They] go back to [their] [rooms] and never forgets. None of them does. They wait. For what, they do not know. But they can feel it coming....And it thrills them."

*Just a simple quote that I liked. Decipher your own feelings to it.
"I cried when he died. Like a dog who howls for the master who beat him."

*Another appealing quote
"How it grieves me to think that the world always wins."

*The best quote of them all. There is something existentialist about this quote, like something Camus would say. The statement of how we can differ in a world that is all the same.
""Oh dead man, you're dead wrong," I tell him. "The world goes on stupid and brutal, but I do not. Can't you see? I do not.""

Reflection of Honors Pre-Calc at the End of Semester One

To be brutally and frankly honest, I can say that this semester did not go well for me and I do admit that it was my own fault. I do own up to this and I accept the grade that I received at the end of this semester with no feelings of unfairity; I only regret that I didn't try harder. Math is definitely not my favorite subject and to reflect back on my crazy thinking of scheduling last year I must have been suicidal to think that I would make a drastic change and begin to like math this year. It is in my character to be overly confident in my abilities and I also harbor a deep blind faith in myself that I would be willing to make a change. This is a fatal character flaw for me. And truth be told, I could have received a better grade in this class but somewhere between 8th grade and honors algebra 2 I mentally lost all will to truly want to excel in math. Yet, I still harbored the attitude of : "Yes, of course next semester will be better for me. I will make changes." I think at this point I have come to realize this flaw but my attitude towards trying still hasn't changed I seem to refuse to let it. At this point I'm going to let this attitude of mine rule me for one more semester and see if I indeed do make this effort for change. My inner conscience is literally yelling: "nope, you are more than likely not going to change", however, I'm going to faith it one more time.

As you have asked for three things that went good for me this semester, the things I stated above is defiantly most of it. I'm not going to say it went good because I did well in a few beginning assignments and I turned in all my homework. I'm going to make this count and say that somehow it was this class that finally gave me that epiphany of my flaw in character. I'm disappointed that I didn't find this flaw earlier last year but perhaps I was still too immature to notice or I did know and wasn't mature enough to acknowledged it. This realization is very much an important good thing that happened this semester. I want to say for my second good thing would be my realization of the necessary of the creation of a good, dedicated work ethic. Yes, I slacked in this class if it was not obvious enough. I apologize. This class is the very basic demonstration that practice and time brings results.  The third good thing that came out of this class (I'm sorry, though I really have no reason to be) is I learned I really don't care for math. At least now I know in future schedule planning to lighten my ambitions at the math and science subjects. There is really a pretty large difference my English grade in comparison to my Math grade; This is probably due to be interest in it and the will I had in putting in effort. I'm a firm believer that if one really tried one can achieve and this is demonstrated in my grade differences. I willingly retain pounds of information of dead people in history yet refuse waste that brain space memorizing an equation. Shame on me I know, but now I've realized and acknowledged this and I am glad of it.

Next semester, I hope in my final realization of my character I will be able to improve in my focus and dedication to this subject. I also wish to open a larger door in my acceptance of mathematical logic ( I work so much better in an abstract world than a logical one). Lastly, I hope that his realization and will I currently have will stay with me and not fade away after I finish composing this reflection, that this attitude isn't created in my pleasure of composing this piece.

I believe at this point I have acknowledged all the points you have wished me to. You probably really just wanted me to write: Next semester I will try to do all my HW assignments more dedicatedly and consistently. Sorry, that didn't happen. You're ending up with this instead. At this point, this thing is pretty tedious and long so I don't know if you have even read to this point with the mass amounts of these you are collecting. I do apologize for my lack of effort and greatness of attitude toward math. I pray next semester I do end up demonstrating differently. It would truly be shameful if I didn't after this reflection. Thank you, Mr. Shack, for putting up with this.